Little Bird Painting

I totally forgot to write about Zachary's birthday gift. Actually, it is more like my gift from my mom for Zachary. I have been looking for artwork for Zachary's room for a long time and have debated what to do. Well a few months ago while I was at Cafe Caffeine trudging along on my thesis when I decided to slipped over to the Moxie to do a little window shopping. There I saw a few wonderful paintings that I adored. The incredible local artist is Shannon Lowry and she makes these incredible "cakes" that are exactly what I've been wanting. I forwarded her website to my mom just to share and never meant anything by it except wanting to show it to her.

At Zachary's birthday party, Mom keeps telling me to be careful with one certain gift and then she finally come over and says I should open this gift immediately. The gift bag has a huge box in it Inside the box filled with Austin newspapers is a small package wrapped in waxpaper. I start to open it and she's gotten me, and immediately get teary eyed and say "look, my little bird." Then I notice that the bird is saying "Zachary" which is when I lost it and began to cry.

I love the painting. It is hanging in Zachary's room above his bookshelf where I can see it from the rocking chair as I put my dear little son to sleep or read him books or just rock.

Crayola and Paper

Today Zachary's artistic side has officially emerged. We were supposed to go meet up with our friends at Jody's house, but due to Zachary's 104 degree fever, we didn't go. So what is a mama supposed to do to make her and her sick kiddo happy? Why crayons of course! I broke out the So Big Crayola's that Nana got Zachary for his birthday and a pad of paper and let him go at it. We've tried to color a few other times and usually more crayon ends up in his mouth, but today the coloring thing took hold and he went to town. Notice the arm motion on the double crayon action and if you look closely, you can see the lovely picture he made.

Despite not being able to have our mama and friends time, I have to admit that we had a pretty good time. Zachary made it through his virus with lots of coloring, cuddling, nursing, cool baths and cold springs, blueberries and strawberries and a little bit of his mama and daddy lovin'.

Exceptionally cute items

Here are a few of the incredibly cute and sweet things my little bird does that make his mama's heart melt.

* A softness check: He tries things out for softness and cuddle-potential. For example, he will crawl over to a pillow or blanket or stuffed animal, lay down and place his sweet little head on it and then pat it. Too sweet. Or he picks up various things, places them next to his cheek and hugs them. aaaaaahhhh.. He does this to books, lovies, the telephone.

* The Kiss: He has started to kiss. He'll kiss his stuffed animals and has started to consistently kiss Greg and I when we ask him too. He comes at you with this wide open mouth with big wet lips and plants a wet one smack dab on your lips. It is always accompanied with a huge smile and a giggle as well. To top that, the other evening, while trying to coax him back to sleep at 3 am and while he was snuggled across my chest and face, I kissed his head and he turned his dreary head to mine and planted a sleepy kiss on my lips. Oui vey, did my heart melt on that one. Made being awake in the early hours so worth it.

* Dog and tennis balls: Zachary has discovered that Senna is allowed to play with the tennis ball, the only toy in the house that she gets to freely chew now that the toys are for Zachary. He enjoys sitting on the floor and offering Senna a tennis ball and when Senna takes it from his, he squeals in delight and claps.

* The Lay-Down-Play: Zacharydoodle likes to play while laying on the floor. Sometimes he lays on his tummy and plays with toys in front of him. He lays there, kicking his little feet and babbling away.

More to come as my little one discovers the world.

Happy Birthday

My little bird is 1 year old.
Simply amazing.
Here are a few pictures of my chocolate cake loving son. He is partaking in Papa's famous chocolate cake and seemed to be quite happy with it.













Papa's famous chocolate cake and 1 single candle.















See that cake everywhere, yes Zachary did that himself.















Yes, his legs, shirt and new scooter toy are covered in cake. He decided that the toy wanted some cake too and proceeded to help it out.

We didn't get to party the way this mommy and daddy had expected too but we had a good time. We went to Houston to visit Peter and Rebecca, who were in Houston from New York City for their engagement party. Since we won't be able to go to their wedding this summer, we decided to celebrate their marriage and Zachary's birthday at the same time. And for those of you who know the stories, you'll understand that without Peter and Rebecca and a certain vacation to visit them 1 year, 9 months and a few days ago, we wouldn't be celebrating our son's birthday.

Thank you Peter and Rebecca and thank you Zachary for a lovely party.

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy.

A mother's late night musings

I can't sleep and my thoughts keep turning to motherhood. This time last year I was wishing that the baby would be born. I was so sore, so big and so very ready to meet my tiny son. His due date was May 18th, but I had secretly hoped he'd be born on Mother's Day, sappy I know, but I remember thinking that it would happen because I was ready. Well, as we all learn, our babies come when they are ready.

This time last year Greg gave me a wonderful necklace that I wear often. It is my motherhood necklace. I had it on the day Zachary was born. Greg also gave me a pair of matching earrings upon his birth. I have the necklace on today as a reminder of my pregnancy and of my first born and that today I get to celebrate being a mom because Zachary is in my life.

But then the bittersweet part takes over. Next Saturday my little bird will be 1 year old. I'm not prepared for this! I keep thinking he hasn't grown, he's not that big, not that different than a year ago. But then I look at him, I look at my body which has returned to it's relative normal size, I look at the stretch marks, which I consider my battle scars, I look at my milk-filled breasts and I know that he has grown, he has changed and I register how much I have changed too.

I spent yesterday morning with Anna, my oldest friend, and her 7 week old baby boy, Jackson. He's lovely. I forgot how small newborns were. I forgot how light they were, how small their hands are, how they smile with the milk drunk look and drift in and out of sleep through the day. He was yummy, adorable and so sweet. Zachary looked like such a big kid next to him. It made me sad but then so excited about this little person who is growing in his personality and self.

Sleep is calling me. Zachary and Greg are snuggled in bed and have now been resting peacefully for an hour. I should join them and stop being so melodramatic.

Happy mom's Day

My husband and son are the best. Today we celebrated Mama's Day. We were back from our week in Houston, woke up in our big bed all snuggled together (and Zachary was so excited the evening before he kept waking me up to nurse all night long!). The three of us proceeded with our morning rituals...Zachary plays poke Daddy to wake him up, then stands up on our pillows to look out the window and retrieve Mama's water bottle to the bed, then we play where's the kitty? and then he charges after sweet Maya-cat and we scramble to sit up and catch him before he hurls himself off the bed. After tackling him we snuggle some more, exchange smooches, cuddle a bit longer and then get ourselves up.

This morning, little Zachary decided that 6:30 am was the longest we'd stay in bed. So Greg and him got up and proceeded to make me breakfast. Since we've been in Houston for 7 days, our fridge was a little bare, but luckily there were some bagels frozen and eggs and just enough cream for my coffee. Zachary ate his yogurt and some O's cereal and we decided to head out to check out the status of the new house.

Luckily Zachary fell asleep in the car on the 2 mile drive over and we pulled into the garage of the house, which now has drywall, as does the rest of the house. Thank goodness that I still like the house after seeing it with drywall too! This means the house passed the insulation and drywall inspection and tape and texture are next. Yippee!

We then enjoyed a Mother's Day lunch at Central Market, where Zachary ate grilled cheese and managed to steal some fries from Greg. After we got home, I was surprised by the rest of my gift, a spa package at Milk+Honey Spa where I got a massage and my nails done. My toenails are now a happy shade of red and my nails are whose your mother pink... I thought it appropriate. The spa was delightful, very modern interior yet soft and calming. Very good massage from Steven, who isn't used to the "unhappy shoulders" of co-sleeping moms. He spent the hour luxuriously digging into my neck, shoulders, and back and making me a very happy lady. Yes, co-sleeping will cause injuries, not to the babe, but definitely to the mama whose child insists on staying positioned in mama's armpit just so and also frequenting the all-niter diner.

Greg made a delightful dinner of rissotto, italian style fish and garlickly green beans, I drank white wine and Greg followed it with a lovely cappucino. We ate this lovely dinner in front of the television so I could watch the final episode of West Wing. Yes, I'm a West Wing addict. I've enjoyed watching because it was the hour a week where I felt happy with our government, even if it was a pretend on on TV. Sometimes fantasy is best.

The three of us then played and read some books, and I took my cappucino to Zachary's room to nurse him to sleep. Of course, he's woken twice since then and is now laying on my lap and I'm perched in an awkward position, trying to write my thesis and taking away all the grand benefits of my massage. Oh well.

Back to writing. Good night to all my mama friends out there.... Happy Mother's Day.

Zachary and the Dog

A few cute photos from this week. Zachary and Senna have been enjoying the sandbox this week.
















Zachary and his new sandbox toys...















Senna thinks we're at the beach when we play in the sandbox turtle.















Senna has taken Zachary's stick and he is attempting to remove it. I intervened soon after this photo was taken and gave both their own sticks.

I need a village. And sleep

I need a village and I need one quick. Right now Zachary sleeps on my lap and I'm contorting myself to type and to write my thesis on the couch. Zachary has decided this week to go to a new extreme with his mommy-separation-anxiety and this has resulted in some pretty severe sleep issues. In addition, he's teething again (4 molars are creating mountains in his little mouth) and he's had a cold. UGH. That is way too much for a little 11 month old to handle and it's a lot for his parents to handle too.

Don't get me wrong, it is endearing to have him be so attached to me, but sometimes a mama wants to put her son down, go to the bathroom alone, cook some dinner or sleep without a baby attached to her. Sometimes a mama wants her little one to sleep more than a few hours uninterrupted or to not wake up for 2 hour stretches overnight or not have to get out of bed and rock the baby for an hour or two. Or as it is right now, I'd just like to put him down and take a shower.

It is also hard to keep up one's relationship with your spouse at this stage as well. Sleep deprivation makes one a bit crazy, creates short tempers and general misbehaving. I'm trying very hard but it's tough and poor Greg takes the brunt of my frustration. I can't yell at Zachary at 3 in the morning that I want to go to sleep, but it's so much easier to bitch at Greg about the dishes the morning after... It's not fair and I need to behave and I need the babe to sleep as well.

That's where the village would be nice. When I quit work, I lost a huge chunk of my village. Folks just don't come around that often. Then we moved and my village got smaller. Plus we have no family nearby and driving to Houston is not my idea of a village, despite what my mother-in-law says...

I'd really like to have more mamma's around to commiserate with, to gather with and to just plain not be alone. I really didn't realize how having a baby isolated a person and how it could make a person lonely at times. Okay, okay, I know, I'm just exhausted, overcaffinated and need a bit a vacation and a completed thesis.

Well, I finally put the babe down in his crib and he didn't wake up. So that means I have a minimum of 15 minutes till he wakes to a max of.... Well... Hopefully hours. So I'm off to shower, grab a snack and change the sheets on the bed.

I promise, after some sleep and a little break, I will be a happier blogger.... Tomorrow will be cute photo day, promise.

My son is a fish

No, I know, I'm not Faulkner and Zachary isn't Vardaman, thank goodness! But Zachary is definitely some sort of water loving animal. My son is crazy about water. He wigs out when we turn the tub faucet on. In the mornings, when the Mummy gets to take her shower, I have to close all doors and very quietly turn on the water because half the time he wakes from his naps upon hearing the sound of gushing water. He loves it that much.

So last week I bought him a pool. We made our first trip to the chain toy store and picked out a grand blow up pool for $20. We came home and set it up in the yard and filled it with water and my little water-lubbin' rascal all but ran into it. Too cute, too much fun.

Now on Friday I let him fill the pool himself. I have to make sure to drain it occasionally since the birds love it and so do mosquito larvae and I don't want to nuke the grass. Anyways, we had been outside playing in the front of the house. We were playing stand on the chair and also played help give the herbs a drink and unplant them and play in the mud. He loves the dirt from the pots. Well by this time, say 9:30 am, he was covered head to toe in mud and I figured it was a perfect time for a quick dip in the pool, especially since it wasn't very sunny out yet so I could forgo the sunscreen and the skeeters were low. I got the pool, put it on the patio and stuck the hose in it and away Zachary went. He scurried over to the pool, went over the side and grabbed the hose. He loved it! He was soaked head to toe. He squirted himself in the face, he gave the dog a drink, he splashed, he frolicked and romped and his mama had a wonderful time and was satisfied to be the mommy.

House and Home

Since Zachary was born, I have been trying to define the meaning of home. Before Zachary, home was at Casa Griffin with Greg. Casa Griffin was this strange, vibrant house that had personalit of it's own - created from 120 years of previous owners and from us as well. But 1217 Chestnut Street also was my first home, my first place where I created roots, where Greg and I shaped our visions of our future, where I cooked 4 Thanksgiving dinners, learned to tile, watched deer from the living room and learned about homeownership. And then the house became the hindrance to being able to stay at home with my new baby and so Greg and I realized that it was only a house and that home was much simpler than we knew... Greg, Katherine and Zachary = HOME.

So we moved, downsized our life and have been enjoying being back in Austin. And over the past month or two, we've been searching for a new house. Man, what a process. The real estate market here has gone absolutely nuts. All the great neighborhoods that were expensive 6 years ago are ludicrously priced now and so we've had to change what we were looking for.. before I would have said a small bungalow in a quaint neighborhood, such as Bouldin Creek or Travis Heights, with some established trees and interesting neighbors with yard art. Well, after a few lost bids on houses and frustration with escalating house prices, increasing interest rates and few houses on the market, Greg and I have decided to purchase a new home by a builder. Yup, the Griffin's are moving to the 'burbs! Sort of... it is only 2 miles from where we currently live and actually, the project is an infill project in a community that Greg's old boss at TBG planned.

We showed up last Saturday and decided to do it. Come this after noon, we'll have put down earnest money and will await the completion of the house. Wow...

We'll be establishing home again. I thought for a while I didn't need a house to do that, but I've been longing to dig in the dirt with Zachary and put in flowers and food and to paint his bedroom and organize closets. Silly, I know, but still wants. I will work hard however to not go crazy and let the house define me. I think this will be easier for sure at this new house... it's in a subdivision for goodness sake. If you knew our last home, I think you'll understand what I'm saying.

House doesn't = home, but I'm looking forward to being at home in this house.

Coffee-Talk and baby free

Guess what, I'm away and ALL ALONE working on my thesis. Yes, that's right, I have escaped the house and I'm working. No no, you are not working, you are saying, you are playing on the web and your blog... yes, I am, but I just had to write this because it's been a long time since i've been child-free and thesis capable!!!!

Zachary and Daddy have food at home ready for them and are mowing the yard right now- don't worry, they are safe, because our mower is a non-motorized push mower and Zachary is perched on his daddy's back in the backpack. Hopefully Greg will feed Zachary soon and bathe him and so forth, but if not, oh well!!

Ok. Back to work. I LOVE the look of the table here in the coffee shop - papers strewn everywhere, computer,a cup of joe by my side and the cell phone, on vibrate, just in case.

I'm going to go relish this now and write LOTS!!!

Wanna play in my sandbox?

Is it safe for kids to eat sand? Zachary really seems to be enjoying eating sand. He does so in such a supremely cute way that I just let him, because I just can't stop the cuteness. I fill up his pail with sand and then he bends over to inspect the sand and leans into the pail, sticks out his tongue and tries a mouthful of the sand. Much too funny. His other sand eating technique is to take his wet hand and plant it firmly into the sand, thus coating his little hand with a fine layer of sand. He then take his hand to his mouth and licks it all off. That elicits a look to me that is then followed by the sweetest giggle and then mommy-heart-melting! I really hope the sand tastes like sugar.

Listening to God

I have thought since Zachary was just a wiggly presence in my belly that he knew God. Now I'm not trying to be all super-religious here... I am just trying to say that I feel that Zachary lived within me for 9 months and during that he really knew God and what life really is. During those first few weeks, I'd whisper to him and ask him about the meaning of life, what God looked like and what sort of conversations they had shared. I longed for Zachary to tell me what happened those months that he squirm around in me, listening to the muffled sounds of my voice, feeling me press on my belly to rub his small back and pat his little tush. Something happened in there and wished to know.

I mean, think about it, from a simple sperm and an egg comes this dividing mass of cells known as a blastocyst and from this develops an embryo which then turns into a fetus which becomes my son once he was born. AMAZING. Truly truly awesome. So shouldn't this bundle of wonder know the unknown? Don't babies, truly innocent beings, know the answers to the simplest yet most complex questions.

anyways, I came across the following writing today and it so simply states what I have asked Zachary since he was born.


Day-Old Child by Carol Lynn Pearson


My day-old child lay in my arms.
With my lips against his ear
I whispered strongly, How I wish-
I wish that you could hear;

“I’ve a hundred wonderful things to say
(A tiny cough and a nod)
Hurry, hurry, hurry and grow
So I can tell you about God.

My day old baby'’s mouth was still
And my words only tickled his ear.
But a kind of light passed through his eyes,
And I saw this thought appear;

How I wish I had a voice and words;
I've a hundred things to say.
Before I forget I'd tell you of God-

I left him yesterday.”

Big Stacy week

This week has been a blast for the Griffins. This week Zachary enjoyed swimming at Big Stacy Pool. I don't mean just enjoyed, I mean totally and completely, flipping out excited enjoyment of the pool. Zachary sees the water and the kids and people splashing in the water and he just gets all excited and squeals and kicks and smiles. It is completely delightful and such a kick to watch him.

We have been swimming at Big Stacy Pool, which is a partially warmmspring fed pool located a few miles from our house. It is the fabulous pool was built by the by the Works Projects Administration in the 30's and is filled with Austinites from all walks of life.

Well Zachary adores being there. So much so that the past two days that we have gone (yes, that is right, swimming in the end of February/beginning of March!) we didn't even make it to the playground because he was so excited. Greg met us at the park after work both days (he rode his bike from work! Yippee!) and we just had a delightful time. Zachary gets in the water and begins to do this frantic frog kick and pushes off of me and desperately wants to swim. However, he isn't into getting his face wet still, as he will occasionally submerge his face and then get upset when he discovers the water. Poor little guy.

This weekend is going to be cooler-temperatures in the mid 60's, so I don't thing we will be doing any swimming this weekend, but we can't wait to take lessons next month.
 

Letter to Zachary

Hello Zachary,

I know it has been a long time since I last wrote you. I had every intention of writing to you so often, but as you might realize, life for your mommy has not been ordinary and many things that I have meant to accomplish haven't happened. But of course the important things, like spending time with you, tickling your skinny ribs, blowing on your feet, playing airplane and mommy-baby snuggling time at the breast, those important things have happened.

I hope that one day you will know that your Mom and Dad adore you and because of that, have allowed themselves to completely rearrange their lives to better fit you, to make more time for songs and laughter, and more time for shear love.

I love you, my little bird. You make me complete. You make my life with your daddy full and rich and I look forward to everything.

It is late and you are sleeping and I will go get you and bring you to bed. I will gently wake you and we can have our cuddle time before you drift asleep.

Goodnite my little sweetpea.
love,
Mom

So I've decided to Blog

So I've decided to keep a Blog...

I have decided to embrace the digital way and join the world of blogging. Seems becoming a Mommy has made me want to write down the multitude of thoughts and feelings racing through my sleep-deprived conciousness. Now I have journalled before and have quite a few paper versions filled up, but digital is new for me.

What will this site be for me? I think it will be a place for me to write down my thoughts on Zachary, my Little Bird, and being a new Mom and on my life with Greg as we start a new chapter in our life.

So read on and we'll see where this heads.